Reflection: Leadership.

Before you read, this is really just a reflection post. It's not meant to be entertaining in any way.

I am the kind of person who gets really awkward when asked to lead in a situation. I am very afraid that the people under me will hate me for any possible reason and I certainly do not want to be a leader that doesn't listen. Therefore, I came to a conclusion that when ever I was made to lead, I would ask my members for opinion and let them lead. This approach of leadership is good when it comes to members that dare to speak up, but what if I come across a group of members who just stare at me blankly when I ask for opinions? That's my biggest fear because it would be very awkward.

Of course it is good to include the thoughts of others and ask for opinions whenever you lead, but asking your members inappropriate questions like, "Okay, what do we do next?" is kinda unprofessional. It makes you look as if you are not even sure of what to do as a leader! I think my biggest mistake in leadership is too much worrying and thus causing me to not be able to be firm in my decision. I am constantly paranoid that people are thinking negative thoughts about me and getting bored even if they really aren't. I failed to realise that the only source of reason as to why people will get bored is my belief that they will become bored.

I feel that the most important factor that I should improve on is confidence (and I thought I had enough of it). I need to know my role and what to do and be confident about my choices. I need to learn how to proceed on with initiative rather than sitting there waiting to be spoon fed with tasks.

With that, I hope I improve on my leadership skills. Can't wait for leap camp all of a sudden.