You are trying to find yourself in every situation and you are starting to realise that almost everyone around you are unique in one way or another so you start to question yourself. Am I being myself? Am I unique? What in the world is myself?!!?! So, you try to create this unique character that you want to be and you will be that person. But actually, that isn't yourself, that is acting out a created character. Being yourself should be effortless.
Sometimes your heart screams to be heard, there are so many things you know you should say but you just don't know how to put it in words. Either that or you are too afraid of the consequences those words might create. You envision yourself to be a great friend-in-need, a person who doesn't just sit and listen but also asks questions, open new doors, give good advice and you blame yourself when you are not able to do so.
The thing is, you tend to forget that your hands cannot heal all the hurt in this world and there is a reason for that... Because your eyes can never see the whole world at once. There are still many things you do not know and many years you haven't lived so sometimes, great friends shouldn't help, great friends shouldn't give advice, great friends should just sit and listen. Too much advice can be like helping a chick crack it's egg. You are actually doing the opposite of helping! It's better to just ask questions and let them give their own answers because they are the ones who understand their situation better, not you. After all, people can open their own doors.
You love learning. You learn things everywhere and you learn mostly by observing. But because of this, you often doubt yourself on the things you do. You learn to be humble, then you learn to be highly egoistic and now you are stuck in between cuz you don't know which one to be! You are constantly wanting to be nice but at the same time, you don't want to be a doormat that everyone steps on. So you have agreed on being humble but fair to yourself by claiming credit for the things you do.
You also realised that you don't like being serious most of the time. Being serious is one of the most painful thing to you because when you are serious, everything suddenly becomes so intense, so stressful. But you are afraid that if you aren't serious at all, no one would take you seriously at all. You haven't found a solution for this yet but you know that not being serious makes you happy... So, you kinda know where you are heading already.
There is so much more things to know about yourself and being truthful to yourself is very important. You want to be happy everyday and when that happiness meter goes down, you panic. I find that you should be more accepting of sorrows and pains because after all, happiness exist because of sorrows. If you ever forget how it was like to be sad, you would also forget how it would be like to be happy. To live is to have imperfections and life is full of them. So, embrace whatever you have even if it is tears.
Give, Love, Appreciate, and Compromise.
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