Day 3: A bad habit that you wish you didn’t have

Okay, what I am about to tell you might make you think I am a despo but I am gonna say it anyway. I have a bad habit of answering the question of whether to date someone or not before they even ask!

For example, I meet a girl today (It has to be a girl because if it's a guy, the straight answer would be a no. Lol.) and we became friends. I would start to notice her character and classify her as date material or friend material. It's somehow like asking myself if I like this person as a friend or as a date or not.

However, I feel that this is a bad habit because it's bad to judge people like this and quite mentally unhealthy for me. But I kinda feel that everyone does it unconsciously too. I don't know if it is nature or habit, but I do know that if I stopped thinking so much about love, maybe I will have one less thing to worry about.

Haha, therefore, I wish I didn't have this habit.

Day 2: A Photo of something you can’t live without

Haha. This is where I get most of my information from. Whether it is weight loss, spelling, translation, directions etc. I usually depend on Google.

So here it is! Something that I can't live without on my Samsung Galaxy S.

Day 1: Recent Photo & 15 Facts.

So, I decided to take up the 30 Day Blogging Challenge. This challenge is suppose to be started on the 1st of December 2010, blogging 30 days up to a new year. But since I am a lame and slow person, I shall start posting now and see if I get to 30 days before the new year!

The tittles of these blog posts are supposed to let you realise your wants for the new year, so I think it's kinda helpful.

1st post, a recent photo (checked) and 15 facts:

1. My name is Jasmine by birth.
2. Most of my wardrobe is black.
3. I am a lesbian butch but I can sometimes be girly.
4. I have an unspoken passion for Taylor Swift.
5. I have very conflicting thoughts about being in a relationship. Part of me really wants someone to love. The other part of me prefers to remain single until I am settled down.
6. I like yoga classes better than meditation.
7. I work in a primitive tattoo shop that is Buddhist based.
8. I blog to sort out my thoughts, that's why I am still blogging even when no one is reading.
9. Call me immature, but I like Disney Movies. (Some of them, like Lion King and Mulan.)
10. I want more muscular arms.
11. I have thought about changing my sex before but I think it is better to just remain Female.
12. I think this guy is really awesome and most of my post are inspired by him.
13. I need to work towards a less prideful life because that would make me happier.
14. I am really lazy sometimes and I would rather try to tear open a packet of chips than reach for the pair of scissors that is just 2 metres away.
15. I can do a saddle-split! But it's not 180 degrees.

There you go! 15 facts! I hope you learnt something new about me!

The REAL Christmas story.

Centuries before Christianity, the holiday was called “Dies Natalis Solis Invicti” or “Birthday of the Unconquered Sun” as December 25 marks the first day when the sun is perceived to reverse its southward retreat. Each day thereafter, there is a little more light and a little less night.

But it only took awhile for the Unconquered Sun to turn into the Unconquered Son. So, the Solis Invicti celebration evolved into Christmas, and the rest is history.

Anyways, since when did the bible ever mentioned about 25th of December?

Used.

After a lot of thought, I realised that maybe to you I am just an expeience, a trial, an experiment. If this is true, you had a very successful guinea pig because I really really loved you.

But today, I am letting you go.

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Walking down the road of life.

There is a road ahead but the view is so dark and foggy, you cannot see what lies ahead. You cannot see if there are sharp objects on the floor ready to pierce your flesh. You can't even tell if there is ground or not. You walk ahead impatiently trying to walk out of the foggy darkness but the more you walk, the more confused you are. The fog grows thicker and thicker as you walk. Your feet is bleeding and you found yourself falling onto the ground. Crippled.

As you laid there, bleeding, the fog cleared slowly. Then you finally realised. You should have been more patient and wait for the fog to clear.

This post is for myself.

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Thinking.

I have been thinking of making Youtube videos for as long as I can't remember when! I should start soon.

My New Favourite Quote.

"A bit of fragrance always clings on to he who gives a rose."

It's a quote to think about, and I had been wondering if out of all the heartbreak I have been though, do I still have a little love in me?

And, the answer is...

Yes, I do.

Oh my. My grammar was so bad at the "PS" part of my last post, I get confused reading it myself! It's okay. I think it's a good thing.

Anyways, I was emotionally affected... DO NOT judge me.

Weird Mind.

I don't know if this applies to all, but I happened to do a lot of selective thinking. Even my memories are selective!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I am gonna talk about my love life again. It isn't very fantastically colourful, but I am just extremely open about it.

When I was in a long-term relationship with this girl, I forgot how I lived before I met her. I've always asked myself, "How did I live through that period of my life? Everything seems so blur!"

And just yesterday, my friend asked me to tell her about my love life (cuz I seldom talk to people about it) and I started from the break up of my first girlfriend. It wasn't done on purpose though. I didn't even noticed until my friend asked, "Then what about your first girlfriend?"

I guess it is just periods of life. When you are in one period you tend to forget about the other periods. But after her big question, I am left with the same old question, "How did I live through that period of my life?"

It's not that I forget what had happened or anything, but everything from the memory of the time period seems so unreal. So impossible.

PS (The full story that I told her.):

There's this girl which I met about a week or two the break up and she actually was kinda cool (even my friends agreed and said that she actually waited for me). But we only lasted a week because my ex found out from my blog and smsed me. I was so confused and shit that I broke up with her that night. I feel really sorry for her and I kinda regret that I doing it, but there is still a part of me that knows we aren't meant to be, so it wasn't that bad after all. Then came this weird plus dangerous girl that flames up for no reason at all! We lasted 3 days.

But anyways, that made me kinda afraid of love and I'd rather stay single now.

Being Thankful.

Being thankful doesn't only help you to know how blessed you are, it also allows you to be positive.

My number 1 favourite quote used to be, "Everything happens for a reason." and that quote made me realised that everything bad will some how become not-so-bad after all.

To be honest, the cycle of good and bad always repeats itself. You can't smile forever, right? But this cycle allows us to know what is happiness and what is sorrow. If someone never had an experience in a pitch black room where he couldn't even see his fingers, chances are, he wouldn't think it's possible for anywhere to be that dark!

What I am trying to say is, we shouldn't only be thankful for the things that benefit us, we should also be thankful for the things that obstruct us and the things that takes things away from us. We should be thankful for the darker times that teaches us to cherish our brighter days.

Without them we wouldn't be as strong as we are today.

PS:

I am thankful for the gym instructor that called me a Toufu when I was struggling to do a 20 pound chest press. Because of him, I can now lift more than that. (Although he still calls me a toufu whenever he sees me. Sigh.)

PPS:

The picture above is a toufu. And yes, I spell tofu as "toufu". Have a problem with that? :X

Sometimes we have to humble ourselves.

The universe is limitless.

There is only so much we can learn on Earth.

So if you think you are great,

Just remember one thing:

"There is no perfect master."

My Job Rocks.

I work in a place where...

1. I see people get poked everyday.
2. Some people get poked till they cry.
3. There is an endless supply of Redbull.
4. I learn many new things in life.
5. Things go slowly, sometimes.
6. Things go crazy, sometimes.
7. I have prostitutes offering their service to me. (Ultra bad.)
8. The place is pretty small and comfy.
9. I see blood.
10. I will never experience anything like this elsewhere.

Okay, I work in a tattoo shop. A primitive one. (They don't use electric needles, they use real needles.) Nope, I am far from gangsta (And I am not planning to be one) but man, this job rocks! Seriously!

Looking back.

It has been more or less a crazy year for me this year. Let's see...

Studies:

Well, as previously stated, I am been improving a lot in this area. From the almost retained student to getting at least a pass for all my subjects. I am not the kind who says that I am freaking lousy all the time, so to be honest, I did my best and getting what I worked hard for is more important than getting the best in the world.

Love:

I survived the year without a girl! Well, except for that one in January. She didn't count me, so I shouldn't count her! HAH! And in the middle there was this guy that I never liked and rumors about me and some girls which never actually happened. Funny people.

Traveling:

I traveled to Thailand and that's about it.

Friendship:

Now this is the messy part. I am kinda glad that I graduate this year. All the freaking politics is messing up my brain!! However, I am thankful for all of them. People who made fun of me and people who were there for me. I am all thankful for them.

I am not leaving messages for people cause I know hardly anyone reads this blog. But to those that I have crossed path with me, may that impression you have of me be our parting message. (:

PS: I just find the picture above very cool. It actually has no link to the post.

Old But Fulfilled.

Look at this pair of shoe. If I'd sell it to you, would you want it?

A few days ago, my dad bought new shoes (AHEM, Doc Marts. Hee.). As he was about to throw away his old shoes that was even more worn out than the pair above, be told me where he had been to with that pair of shoe and how long he had been using it. And that made me tell myself, I want to be a pair of old and worn out shoe when I grow old.

There are many things in life that I have said "no" to just so that I can have an easier way out. But I realised that the more you say "No" in life, the more you will miss!

The difference between an old and worn out shoe and a shoe that is old but never been worn is the amount of road it has ever been on.

So from today on, I will try something new, talk to a stranger take a new route or whatever that makes my heart tingle!

Because at the end of the day an old pair of sneakers have no new potential in it BUT it is old and worn out from running towards life and not running away from it.

Back Into The Light.

I have been very stressed up lately. By lately, I mean this year. Somehow, fighting for my studies have made me very closed up. I suddenly become very negative and I am not thinking much about life as a whole anymore. In fact, I noticed that I started thinking about myself myself myself and I became very full of myself.

I have forgotten what I was and how I used to post. How I used to figure things out for people and help them. Last time, I would sit and listen. Now, I would tell you to shut the fuck up 'cuz I have bigger problems. I noticed this change quite sometime ago but I was so full of myself, I always thought I was right. I am just loving myself and that's how it should be!

But I was dead wrong.

I am not as happy as before, I am not as understanding before and I am as narrow as ever. I pushed people aside, letting them fall so that I can be at the top first.

What have I become?

Everyone has dark times. In these dark times, it is important to stay calm and be focused. Many people let their emotions take over them and that's where the mess starts.

Yes, it is good to think for yourself. If it is a decision you have to make, make it, but be responsible and focused.

I have no regrets just yet. I am not friendless.

But I am missing a very big thing,

Sanity.

Today I see the world anew.

The Marriage Of Two Beatboxers.

Fat Tony is getting married!!!
They are so cute together! :D

Here's A Real Ninja!

Body Image

After looking at a Facebook fan page and going through some thoughts, I am inspired to write a meaningful post. One that I haven't been writing for a long time and this time, it is about body image.

It has become a fact that body image is a concern amongst many people in society. The answer to whether you are happy with yourself or not doesn't stop at whether you are happy in your body but it stops at whether others in the society approves of the body shape that you have.

I have friends who tell me, "You look okay , actually. You are just a bit fat." and to be honest, this makes me a little upset with myself. I would look into the mirror, and suddenly my flabs appear bigger than before even when my weighing scale disapproves with my judgement! Why am I affected by his or her judgement? Well, I think it is because our shallow society views body image importantly.

This has blinded many of us and made us think lowly of ourselves. Our needs of a fit and healthier body no longer matter, what matters is our wants of a body that looks good to others.

"It becomes an obsession, you are never good enough for yourself."

We need to start thinking for ourselves.