Never Learnt This Much In A Month.

This month is worth blogging. I learnt a lot about myself. And the funniest thing is, throughout my entire life (okay, maybe just the past 5 years or so) of trying to understand myself, it is only this month that I've learnt a lot. Did I stop searching? No, I don't think so. Through correct interactions at the correct timing, things like this just come as and when they like. I guess that's why this month is so productive. No secrets.

#1 TAKE A BREAK

Many people fear having no friends or have no lover. Some (like me) fear break up of any sort, be it friends or lover. I am afraid to lose a relationship. But no matter how awesome I and another person may be together (friends or lovers), I will one day get tired of them. No, don't get me wrong! I don't mean I just suddenly hate them! I just don't want to see them for awhile and usually I get the same response from them too. I think it's just a natural thing. And when I do see them again, things usually become fresher and better. Maybe that's why people end up marrying their first love? Who knows? But my advice is, if you start to feel awkward with your friend and you somehow can't explain why, take a break. It will help the friendship.

#2 YOU MAKE YOUR OWN DECISIONS

This month, I have been watching The L Word. It is a TV series that involves a huge amount of Lesbian content that I can relate to. Many people think that watching The L Word is like watching porn, but I disagree! I guess it is possible if you only watched the sex scenes, but if you watched the series I am sure you would find the connection between two people beautiful instead of just full of lust. In fact, I cried during one of the sex scenes and I am the kind of person who DOESN'T cry during touching scenes in movies. (Ikr, I'm weird)

Okay, but that's not the point. I was going to tell you about something I learnt from The L Word. In The L Word, there was a lesbian couple named Alice and Tasha. Tasha worked in the U.S. Military. At that point of time, you could be kicked out of the military by being lesbian. So somehow, Tasha got caught having a girlfriend and so she had to go through trials (something like a court case). During the trial, Tasha did not plead guilty at first because she feels a strong commitment to the U.S. Military, however, after awhile, Tasha made a choice. She plead guilty because she loved Alice. In Tasha's mind, Alice was going to be with her forever. But she was dead wrong. Alice fell deeply in love with another woman. Alice wanted to give up that woman because Tasha gave up so much for her, but when Alice consulted her friend, Shane, Shane told Alice that everyone deserves to be happy and that no one should make their decisions based on someone else. Tasha was gay even before she met Alice. And I felt very strongly to that because the most regretful decisions I make are the ones that are based on others. It seems selfish but true. After all, everyone has a choice to leave but you can never leave yourself. No one owes you happiness.

#3 ASK WHEN YOU ARE UNSURE

Nuff said. Especially when the question is so big that it affects your mood.

Okay, I shall end my very long post here. Bye!