My Almost Nothing - JT (A Spoken Poem Monologue)

This is my first spoken poem ever created. And because spoken poems are meant to be read out aloud (that's why they are called spoken poems) this might not make sense when you read it in your head. I promise to post a video clip of me reading it when I am free. But for now, here's the poem:

Maybe you see home as broken
Softer than hair
As stable as floating on air
And maybe it's something you don't believe that you can lean on

Let alone live in

Maybe it's my fault the skies are grey
but I have been trying my best to brighten things up
Brightening it with lights so artificial
It's like placing awkward pictures on the living room walls to cover up the holes

I used to feel warmth but now it's just heat.

'Cause to the people who already know the truth
The holes are so big,
Mending them seemed pathetic.


No use trying to blind yourself with the lights.
When the darkness is as easy to hide as a tattoo across your forehead that says, "Coward."

Lazy.
Fat.
Ugly.
Stupid.
Loser.

And what if one day, this heat turns into a fire...

Would I still save my "Almost Nothing" and leave by the front door
Or jump out of the window to end it all?


I would be laughed at if "Almost nothing" was all that I have.

But I will stay strong enough to laugh at those people
Because if "Almost Nothing" is what I now have
Then I am stronger than them.
I have nothing to lose!

Because the day I stepped out of that burning house, I learned...
That all the light that I need, is the light in our heart keeps us warm
And no one can take that light away.

While you have your degrees in paper,
But I have my degrees in heart and
Let me tell you, it is as hot as fire.

Love.
Passion.

Sometimes the only thing that matters is your point of view

Some good days don't start with blues skies
And bad days don't always start with darker hues

So I will pack my "Almost Nothing" and turn that into "Something"
Something that matters this time.