September has been a really embarrassing month for me. I got enlightened about my flaws and all the flaws of the people around me. And I feel that the only reason why things will never be good enough for any of us will be because of our constant longing for greater things.
Just like how a person with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) would keep on repeating an action because he/she thinks that it's not good enough (e.g. washing hands), we all have some level of obsession about improving ourselves or the things/people around us. And the beauty in this is that as long as someone in the human race isn't satisfied, the world will continue to 'develop' the human way.
Being able to recognise my flaws is a good thing as I will be able to develop myself. But it isn't always as easy as it sounds because people often have trouble accepting their flaws, which is the first step to change. And I am still struggling with that.
I don't know how to say this but there is a lot of self-hate and negativity that comes with the recognition of my flaws. I knew I wasn't perfect, but I didn't know that I was that bad. But whatever it is, there is no point of dwelling in self-pity and sorrow. It's time to do the best that I can to save the things I haven't destroyed and change for the better.
Wish me luck.
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