Expected.

I knew there was this fakeness between us all the long. Sometimes I hate myself because I thought you have forgiven me but I am so unforgiving of you.

But today, I'm glad I learnt that you feel the same too.

Thanks for trying to patch things up, sorry for not helping.

I guess I'm normal after all. Lol.

Sorry...

For not changing my blog skin earlier... Trolololol.

Omg, now my blog is so much most easier to read!!! Haha! Okay, so here's a casual post because I feel like it.

Today I ran away from hope. Lol, jk. I did my 10km Run For Hope on my own today around Bishan and Marrymount cuz I need to visit my cousin's family for some tea ceremony at 9am (she was getting married) and the actual run started at 7.45am so I couldn't make it.

I woke up at 5.30am and dragged myself out of the house by 6am just so that I could finish my 10km by 7.30am. Honestly, I walked more than I jogged. By the time I reached Bishan park I told myself that I should jogging more and I went to stalk some old man that was jogging. I don't know if this applies to you, but I feel more motivated to jog when someone in front of me is jogging. I will catch the rhythm of the person jogging in front of me and it feels less stressful than jogging on my own. But soon the old man stopped to drink water and I couldn't follow him anymore so I jogged on my own. But after awhile I resumed walking. Lol. I think I brisk walked all the way until it was 7.40am and my dad called me to rush me back home... It was then that I noticed that I can actually run. Lol. I ran all the way from the start of Marrymount road back to my house and I noticed that I was missing another 200m so I ran a small part of my estate and ended up clocking 10.2km in 1h 38mins.

Actually, I ran/walked more than 10.2km. I don't know why but the app in my phone paused itself for at least 500m but instead of being pissed, I just ran the extras. At least it didn't erase my data! I would be very pissed if that happened. Lol.

After I rush back home, I changed, went to my cousin's house and guess what? SHE WASN'T EVEN THEREEEE... She was having a ceremony at the bf's house first before coming back to her own house for the ceremony. Wahh.. I'm quite pissed uh. Should have just gone for Run for Hope with my friends. Dammit. But nevermind, what's done can't be undone.. And running/walking 10km on my own without checkpoints is quite an experience for me! I want a real marathon next time!!!!

Let's hope my other cousin doesn't get married the next time. -.-

Believing in miracles.

If you believe in miracles, you believe in impossibility because miracles are the impossible coming true. So you can either choose to believe in miracles or choose to believe that everything is possible.

I choose to believe in possibility.

I'd Rather You Not Please Me.

The words that come out can never go back in.

And I am counting the number of times you try to fool me by saying "Yup" or "Really?" just so that I would shut up. But what you don't know is... It's really easy for me to tell if a person is truly listening or just trying to please.

Many a times I would wish to tell you that you aren't living life... You are trying to handle life. And life is full of surprises that most of us can't handle. But it's your life anyways and I am sure you are old enough to know what works for you.

Maybe I should just listen more and not say so much.

At least then, no one lies.

Dear Stranger,

Every morning when you wake up you seldom feel like it's a joy but you try to make the best of it by having a cup of coffee. You treasure life because you feel that you would only experience life once and you are trying so hard to catch and embrace every glimpse of it until the point where sometimes you become very tired of breathing. Then you loose all motivation. You feel like a slug. Dragging your feet through corridors; you feel disconnected with the world. It's as if you were in a dream. But everyone knows, after some heavy exercises, your muscles will ache and after that they will be stronger. Maybe it's the muscle of life that is aching. Maybe it's your period of reflecting and recovery. You know you will be okay again.

You tell others to love themselves because you feel that you do but in actual fact, you don't. You love others and you are constantly trying to please the people around you, being too careful to not let the wrong words out of your mouth. And when you trip and fall in the marathon of life, you blame yourself, you tell yourself that you are lousy and slow and that you really suck because others can and you can't. Like hello?! Self-reflecting is important, but sometimes, the most important thing to do is to stand up and continue running the race! There are many things I wish I could remind you of but everyone is a little schizophrenic at times and even I would forget my priorities in life so I don't blame you for it.

You like helping others... And others like to come to you for help too because you look like you have all it takes to take on life but you know you don't and you are just an average 17 year old struggling to stay above the waters hiding the fact that you are just so you can help others. Maybe you should really learn to get a boat before trying to save someone else from drowning in the middle of the ocean.

Thoughts and daydreams always fills your eyes when you are alone because life never fails to amaze you. I am sure that your thoughts are as deep as the Atlantic and you know you will never be able to share all of them with the world because you have a short-term memory. That's why your blog is called thoughts. You forget what you think and that's why you have to record them down. But not everything goes there and nothing frustrates you more than coming back home and forgetting what you want to post. Like your experience of losing your wallet.

You think about everything under the sun but the only thing you haven't thought about is you. That's why you feel like a deer in the headlights when your psychology lecturer asks you about yourself. You've never thought deeply about you that's why I am helping you think right now. You know you are talented in many ways and at the same time you know that you aren't the best in the world that's why you feel the need to be humble. You try to shine less... And you usually regret it.

I know that there are many things in life that you are trying to figure out and now you are finally trying to figure out about yourself. I am glad that you are making progress and I hope to know you better from now on.

Regards,

Stranger :)

Time is money, but is money time?

Obviously, we can never buy time. Not for now at least. And once our time is spent, there's nothing we can do to earn it back.

Everyday we spend time. Second by second, hour by hour, day by day, year by year. Sometimes I look at my dad (a 55 year old man) and wonder if his concept of time was any different than mine. I mean, he has lived 55 years on this earth and that equals to so many many days! A day as compared to 55 years is so small... So is his way of viewing a day the same as mine or is it much faster or slower?

I feel that time is really sneaky. It moves really slowly when we are watching it, but zoom passes us like a ninja when we aren't. I think time is really mysterious in many ways because only now exists, but we feel like there's a just now, tomorrow, yesterday, and last week. But the truth is real, and only NOW exists, and if you don't live for NOW you might just be missing out on your entire life! Don't live for tomorrow! Or even worse, don't ever live for yesterday!

Yes, we should plan for our future, we should invest our time on our career and our future money. But money can never buy time. And if you missed the period of time where your friends still give a shit about you, your parents are still healthy and want to travel with you, and your girlfriend is still waiting for you to come online, money can NEVER mend back the broken relationships or buy back the time you lost with your loved ones.

Time is more than money.