Trust Issues

In a therapy session with a psychologist (who happened to be my lecturer), a child expressed rage and anger toward her parents. The psychologist managed to calm her down and asked her why she was so mad... The child replied, "BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A SIBLING!!" It didn't make sense in the first place because having siblings would mean lesser space, lesser financial support, and even lesser attention because everything is shared! But upon further questioning, the child explained that she feared the day that her parents leave her because that would be the day she has no one to call her own.

As I grow up, I feel that there are really lesser and lesser people you can trust. Married couples divorce, best friends drift apart... Only those who share the same blood are bonded forever.

Cousins are not as directly linked as people under the same branches of the family tree. Plus, for me, I hardly talk to my cousins at all! Sometimes we don't even see each other during CNY. So I don't think I can depend on them if I have troubles in the future. But all these are just random worries that appear in my head. I believe that when the time comes, I will find a way. 

I hope I find a wife that I can really trust with all my heart. I can live on my own too, but of course I would prefer not to.

All the shitty-ness of my recent past relationships have left me pretty sick and tired of 'love' and I concluded that I am not mentally mature enough for a relationship yet as of now. 

Project Willpower #3: Continue!

Project willpower had a rocky start as CAs started pouring in when I start school. In fact, CAs are still pouring in right now. I just presented 2 CAs and submitted 1 lesson plan this week and it's only Wednesday! But lucky for me, that's all for this week. 

So project Willpower continues and I think I should take it step my step. My last approach was too overwhelming as I implemented all changes within a night. Suddenly I had to cook a lot more and not drink alcohol! It's like building a tall building without any foundation and expecting it to not topple.

Well, my building toppled within a few CAs. Lol.

So, from now on, every 2 weeks I will change one thing in my life that I feel is unhealthy. This time, I will start off with drinking 2litres of water a day.

0.5ounce x weight in pounds = daily required intake of water (ounces)

I currently only drink a maximum of  1.5 litres a day and the minimum could be 500ml. This is lesser than my daily requirement (2litres). I will start off with drinking my maximum 1.5 litres a day for a week and slowly try to get 2 litres into my system by the end of 2 weeks (1st Aug).

This weekend I will probably blog about the benefits of water. 

I use 'probably' cuz I think I have something due on monday...

Shit... :/

Project Willpower #2: Paused.

It all went well for the first week. I ate according to my zero willpower eating plan and gave forfeits whenever I don't. Then, school happened. And I am being fed CAs even before I finish my last CA! It's like being served lunch right after you realised that breakfast was too much to finish (and you have yet to finish your breakfast)!

My current workload is horrible for me and on top of that, I have piano practices too. But no complains! The amount of work sorta excites me. If I can do it, it means that I have conquered it. I guess it's just my unconscious way of turning stress into energy.

Piano makes me busier, but I don't regret it. It's very relaxing, calming and stress relieving for me. AND best of all, because I am taking classical piano now, I can pursue my dream of becoming a musical therapist in a hospice!

I will update again when I have more time. For now, project willpower is paused but it shall start again soon! This time, with more spice!