Love vs. Lust

While I'm waiting for my hair to dry (it's been awhile since I needed to do that) I shall blog about the difference between love and lust.

Lust: Strong Desire, sexual.

Love: Tender, passionate affection toward another person. Sometimes, sexual.

I used to think that with lust, there will surely be love and with love, there will always be lust. But I was wrong. 

Recently I witness a break up between a couple. It was due to the fact that the girlfriend was over possessive over the guy and didn't let him do the things he want. The girlfriend would often convince him to skip CCA and she would get angry if he didn't. She also asks him out for 'study dates' when all she wants is to do everything with him except study. The term 'study date' was just used to lure him out. Eventually, the guy wanted his freedom and he broke up with her.

His reason for the break up made me think about my past relationships and it's really sad to say that I have little experience for love. I mostly experience lust.

Love is a complicated mix between friendship, sex, and partnership. A good couple should be able to talk like best friends, work like cooperative partners in business, and have sex like... woohoo! 

Love is more than just lust. Love is about helping to make each other's life better not about adding extra stress to each other's life. Love is about understanding, patience, and trust. Love is about knowing that somebody is still gonna love you and accept you even if you tell them that you joined a cult. Love is unexpected. Love brings surprises. Love can give you hell, love can also take you to heaven.Love is like facing life as a team.

Love has to limits.

Love has no reasons.

Love is something I have yet to experience.

Been thinking about my future lately...

"So, the truth is, there's not one path. The truth is, there's not only one right path. The truth is, all paths can be made to be the right path. The truth is, that every individual has a different path. And that different path that every individual is launching incrementally—and amending constantly—that true path is known by Source and is guided by Source if you will pay attention to the way you feel."
~ Abraham

The Face Without A Name. (A short story)

The day you introduced yourself to me, I told myself, "I want to get to know her better." You're cute. And there's something about you that I like a lot and I don't know what is it. I just like you. I can't get my eyes off you. I can't help but notice your every movement. And when you smiled, even if it isn't for me, my heart pumps twice as fast. I'm afraid if I actually get to have a conversation with you, I might die of a heart attack. Yet, all we said that day was "Hi."

I'm not the kind of person who ever believed in love at first sight, but just the night before I met you, I was thinking about what kind of a girl I would like to meet. Me being a lesbian makes it harder because I need to find a girl who also happens to like girls. I came to a conclusion that the person I was thinking about probably didn't exist and I might have to settle for something less until... I found you.

For the next few months, I've been trying to get your attention. I opened a door for you, printed a copy of the music sheet for you, helped you keep the chairs after our CCA is over... I even walked you to the MRT after CCA but you were too deeply buried in your bunch of friends for me to ever reach you... I was just a random follower to you.

We parted ways at the MRT. You had your parents to fetch you home while I took the MRT with the rest as a random lonely follower. Your friends weren't that bad... They tried to include me into their conversation with small talk. They really tried to open me up. But I guess I was too closed up in my own thoughts. Thoughts about you. Thoughts about how you waved goodbye to everyone, "Bye, Aisha! Bye, Nat! Bye, Kim! Bye, Ron!" but when it came to me, it was just "Bye!"

I don't mind being just a name to a face to you. But then I realised that I don't even have a name! I am just a familiar face to you! That's how much you notice me after so long.

I guess I'm shy.

Maybe that's why.

It took random meet up for you to notice me. I was the only person... No wait, I was the only FACE you knew there and you didn't want to be alone. So we talked. And it turned out well. But at the end of it all... It was still a bye. You still didn't know my name.

I don't know if I still like you but I think I shouldn't.

A person like you doesn't deserve me.

Or maybe I should introduce myself better next time.